last published

irony?
hardly.

sometimes I start out drinking or eating or doing something because I think it's funny and crappy, but then I get really attached to it because there was something good to attract me in the first place. you're damn right I'd drive a monster truck if it was offered to me.

Lifter Puller's stories of big city hipsters on drugs have sort of inspired me,
though I hate those characters, and I don't hate the drugs.

I didn't do anything with that inspiration, instead I looked to the
Joker action-figure I found at Albertsons while I was buying frozen pizza
and a case of keystone. I mean the red keystone, not
keystone light or keystone ice, because let's all face it,
that shit is for date rapists, and that is not at all cool.

Ol' Glory is cool.

assholes

they blocked my stolen cisco image, so here it is, I stole it even harder this time. you will regret keeping your belongings safe from me, because when I come back for them a second time, I won't smell nearly as good as I did the first time.

assholes. this is the internet.

it takes you by surprise

from bumwine.com - "In 1991, Cisco's tendency to cause a temporary form of inebriated insanity led the Federal Trade Commission to require its bottlers to print a warning on the label (above right). The FTC also forced them to drop their marketing slogan, "Takes You by Surprise," even though it was entirely accurate."

Indeed, it takes you by surprise. You can't buy Cisco in Idaho, and that's probably a good thing. My first night in San Francisco, we stayed at the Green Tortoise hostel and bought 5 bottles of the stuff. "There's no way we'll finish all of this!!" Hah. It was my birthday, it was 8pm and I hadn't eaten all day. We each had a big bottle of it (me orange, David peach) and by 8:55 we were insane. We scared everyone else out of the Tortoise's lounge by yelling about the Sinestro Corps.

I'll put it this way: drinking more than one bottle (or even one bottle) of Cisco is like being trapped inside your own body. Your eyes are windows. You can see what's going on outside, you just can't control it. You're aware that you can't say anything smart, or really even anything intelligible. You really want to, but the Cisco warps your words, and changes your best intentions into filling a sink full of ice just so you can drink more Cisco. My birthday dinner was a gas station muffin. More strange things happened that night than any other night in my life.

It stays in your blood. Necromancy is required to be normal again. I'm not joking. Five bottles.

How does this pertain to poetry?

How doesn't it? This is about what happens to you, something that takes you by surprise. Ideally, everything you read or write shoudl take you by surprise.

taking tiger mountain (by drug addiction)

so I did this thing...

where I drew Ghost Rider as Evel

Knievel. With his jumpsuit

in the opposite colors of Evel's jumpsuit.

That's what I do instead of

constributing to society.

Evel and Johnny Blaze both inspire me, though, and that's the honest truth.

I don't know what to say other than things that get other people going don't get me going. I see a clip from Blade Runner where the special effects are super outdated and it looks like shit and I think "Damn almighty, that is awesome!" and I'm inspired.

Crappy things are too often cast in a negative light.

adding one more disapproving

Batman is opposed to mindwipes, and I'm sure that I agree, but it's hard to agree when others say differently and make good points. Magic should be used for bunny rabbits and not to wipe people's minds! Especially not Batman's mind.

bat signal bat signal

conervative thanagar.

"Are you just the clean cut frontman for your pot smoking buddies?" a landlord asked my friend this weekend.

Mindwipe that asshole and let the magic corocdiles feed upon his soul, I say.

But it IS pretty funny.

candied kryptonite

I'm using that title for something else, too.

Times are weird baby, I know. I know.

There's no use in pretending that I haven't been watching Smallville. But only the Green Arrow
episodes, I swear! I'm glad that my life is not such a soap opera. Or if it is,
it's more like that one with the vampire. Dark something?

I admire Simon Belmont.

If there was a modern equivalent to Homer, he would write of Batman's journey through Gotham to Arkham and back to the Batcave. He would write of Daredevil's identity being exposed and his subsequent trip to prison. These people are our Odysseus' and Achilles' and all of those other mythical tough guys. These are our mythical tough guys and maybe they're not such drama queens.

What is an epic other than a soap opera? Panels or no panels.

64 ounces of Coors and several Pabst pitchers later, my friend was sleeping on my couch and covered with every item in my house, and it

did not even wake him.
It was a surprise to me, too, as I went to sleep before it happened.

Every piece of junk in the world can be placed atop, and sometimes we won't wake up.
This is not about me.

This is about every morning and the guilt of Coors and piles of junk
and those things are poems in themselves, right?

now blogger saves yr drafts automaton style

charles olson, you are my khan, i am your kirk!

that means you're
an evil genetically engineered
superman who put
a galactic earwig
into my friend's space helmet!

i will have my revenge.

pewpewpew space war

well, even khan wasn't all bad.

i want to write poetry about power metal album covers,
but that's not socially acceptable yet.
we're not progressive enough

to realize
that trashy, campy things
are more profound than the
intellectual
nice and shiny ones.

omega beam, i am out